[ The message comes through late that first evening, once most had trudged to bed exhausted. Jake was among them, eager to let sleep ease away the aches of a day spent shoving mushrooms into his body and then back out into various adjoining holes. It seemed almost farcical to look back on, though no one on the ship was doing much laughing today.
This message would've come earlier, had Finn not hit up against the grim discovery of Steve's disappearance. It was a long night nursing the boy through an accelerated stage of grief, only for them to end up right back at the start again. At least depression was good for one thing; Finn would get some sleep.
Was Rita sleeping? It was late enough that he hoped so. Heck, it was late enough that he shouldn't check. Still... ]
[ considering the lack of sleep rita had actually managed to receive during their time on mission, one would think she'd instantly pass out the moment they made their return. but the understanding of what had come from their efforts, the bittersweet conclusion of their attempted rescue, had been an overwhelming thing to bear, the weight of it heavy on her heart the moment they arrived back.
though her skin had begun to sink from her cheeks, it was the hot tears in her eyes that had kept her from meeting anyone else's eyes, excess of both exhaustion and emotions getting the best of her.
she's so tired but the kind of tired that keeps one awake rather than send them into immediate sleep. ]
Hi, Jake. [ she says quietly, missing the usual rita farr spunk and enthusiasm. ] Yeah, I'm ... I'm awake.
[ Her mutedness wasn't an inherent red flag. They'd all been through a lot today. Still, there was something... missing there. Something more than just energy.
Maybe his confidence in that was a little misplaced, but what could he say? They were blood. ]
[ it's amazing how in such a short time, jake's been able to get a better sense in perceiving her than most people do. is it because of their similar abilities? is it because dogs are more aware of those kinds of things? or is it just jake?
her lips quirk at his question, like he seems to be getting a reading towards what she hasn't said. ]
It's been difficult to fall asleep since coming back. After ... well, you know. I can't stop thinking about it.
[ One could say that went both ways. The dog's perceptions weren't often so easily perceived back. An actors ability, maybe. A lot lay below the surface for both of them, shapeshifting their exteriors smooth and ripple free. Nobody got to see the stones that dropped through them, not unless they wanted them to.
Or, if the person on the other end of the phone happened to know what ripples sounded like. ]
Yeah. [ It's a simple word, but imbued with understanding. ] You wanna meet up at the kitchen? I've got a steamed milk insomnia cure that might make a dent.
[ And after a pause: ] We can talk about it, maybe. If we feel like it.
[ And if they didn't feel like it, Jake would be more than content asking about the plots of her movies for an hour. ]
[ truthfully, rita hadn't realized what she'd been lacking before jake arrived. she's had tutors and trainers before, between asking heroic strong types like victor at home or andy here for advice in how to be confident and resolute or how to train her muscles to be better fit.
but it's never been about fighting or the outward perception. it's taken a long time for her to realize that what haunts her is the shapelessness she feels, the way her body could be anything, only for her to feel like nothing. there's a desperation for her to figure out what she even wants to mold herself into β and not just anyone can grasp what it's like to be a blob at her best on a terrible day.
it's why rita nearly breaks into tears at his offer. not because there's really anything to it, or because of anything he's even said. it's simply the realization of her own need, how she's so terrible at trying to figure herself out alone, and she's just always so damn lonelyβ
she sniffs quietly, recomposing herself. ]
Okay. I'll be there. [ she nods, even if he can't see it. ] We can do that.
[ The moment passes between them unremarked upon -- quiet, though hardly silent -- as Jake waits for the confirmation. Upon recieving it, his own smile seems to soften to something edged with an unnamed ache. ]
Cool. Seeya soon, Reetz.
[ The kitchen is already bathed in pleasant smells when Rita arrives. Spices bring a sharp edge underneath the sweet mellow notes of honey and cream. Cued by the scent of her approach, Jake is already turned towards the kitchen entrance with a smiling wave. Whatever state she arrives in will earn no outward reaction from Jake, he will recognize her regardless. ]
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voice; un: jtd (post ciraiwei)
This message would've come earlier, had Finn not hit up against the grim discovery of Steve's disappearance. It was a long night nursing the boy through an accelerated stage of grief, only for them to end up right back at the start again. At least depression was good for one thing; Finn would get some sleep.
Was Rita sleeping? It was late enough that he hoped so. Heck, it was late enough that he shouldn't check. Still... ]
Hey, Reetz. You up?
voice;
though her skin had begun to sink from her cheeks, it was the hot tears in her eyes that had kept her from meeting anyone else's eyes, excess of both exhaustion and emotions getting the best of her.
she's so tired but the kind of tired that keeps one awake rather than send them into immediate sleep. ]
Hi, Jake. [ she says quietly, missing the usual rita farr spunk and enthusiasm. ] Yeah, I'm ... I'm awake.
Re: voice;
Maybe his confidence in that was a little misplaced, but what could he say? They were blood. ]
By choice or nah?
voice;
her lips quirk at his question, like he seems to be getting a reading towards what she hasn't said. ]
It's been difficult to fall asleep since coming back. After ... well, you know. I can't stop thinking about it.
voice;
Or, if the person on the other end of the phone happened to know what ripples sounded like. ]
Yeah. [ It's a simple word, but imbued with understanding. ] You wanna meet up at the kitchen? I've got a steamed milk insomnia cure that might make a dent.
[ And after a pause: ] We can talk about it, maybe. If we feel like it.
[ And if they didn't feel like it, Jake would be more than content asking about the plots of her movies for an hour. ]
voice;
but it's never been about fighting or the outward perception. it's taken a long time for her to realize that what haunts her is the shapelessness she feels, the way her body could be anything, only for her to feel like nothing. there's a desperation for her to figure out what she even wants to mold herself into β and not just anyone can grasp what it's like to be a blob at her best on a terrible day.
it's why rita nearly breaks into tears at his offer. not because there's really anything to it, or because of anything he's even said. it's simply the realization of her own need, how she's so terrible at trying to figure herself out alone, and she's just always so damn lonelyβ
she sniffs quietly, recomposing herself. ]
Okay. I'll be there. [ she nods, even if he can't see it. ] We can do that.
i'm destroyed
Cool. Seeya soon, Reetz.
[ The kitchen is already bathed in pleasant smells when Rita arrives. Spices bring a sharp edge underneath the sweet mellow notes of honey and cream. Cued by the scent of her approach, Jake is already turned towards the kitchen entrance with a smiling wave. Whatever state she arrives in will earn no outward reaction from Jake, he will recognize her regardless. ]
Hey, hope you like cloves.